Common Chatter

ahoy mates! thank you for the welcome. my ten year old came up with this one.

What does a pirate use to clean out his wounds?

              Arrrradine!

If Blackbeard were alive today, what would he be most famous for?

His age! (C'mon, he'd be over 300 years old!)

Johnny Tarr finally received his 6-months pay and came ashore on Friday but instead of going home, he spent the weekend wenching and drinking at taverns all over the town. When he finally ran out of money Sunday night, he returned home. He was confronted by his furious wife, who lectured him for hours about his drunken ways. Finally she said to him "How would you like it if I'd been gone for 6 months, finally returned to my home port, then didn't bother to come home for two or three days? To which he blurted out "That would be just fine with me!"

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went and he still didn't see her.  Finally on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

What do you call a peg-legged Pirate on ice?

........a protractor.